Clinton Democrats

To Howard and the Party Leadership,

In response to your emails asking us to unite behind the party. Your emails border harassment. Keep them coming so that I could file a complaint with the police. Maybe get an order of protection.

A few days ago you gave me a message that I am a dumb broad whose opinion doesn’t matter anyway. And you continue not to hear me. And now you want me to get into bed with you?

You have not only offended me and millions of other women, you have angered the Shekinah. And when you anger her, Lord have mercy. (The Shekinah represents the feminine attributes of God)

Let me remind you that women have photographic memory, short term memory, long term memory, absolute memory, you name it. In fact, we never forget anything. We can remember the first thing our mother-in-law said on the first time we met her. And 20 years later, we still hold it against you.

And you expect us to forget in one week, one month or two months? Forget it. That ain’t going to happen. It’s against human nature.

But, there is a way you can correct the horrendous damage. This is when getting us that diamond we want so much comes in handy. In this case, it’s not a canary diamond, an oval diamond or a square-shaped diamond. It’s the Hillary diamond. That’s the only thing that will appease us.

Yeah, yeah. We know that you’ll say that this problem would be hard to fix. Because if you appease us, than you would most likely anger the other group – the Obama supporters. Almost impossible right? Wrong!

You’re in luck. We women also have the solutions for everything. Even for this mess. It’s actually very simple and everyone comes out a winner. Obama should say in his acceptance speech “I’m a real gentleman and in this case I say Ladies First. I am giving the nomination to Hillary and I will be her vice president.”

Check out the benefits:

1. That would immediately elevate him to a martyr status in the eyes of everybody. I mean everybody. Nobody has ever acted with so much selflessness before. Well, maybe Mother Theresa.

2. With such a ticket, we are sure to win. There is no way the Republicans could beat us. Hillary and Obama would be the team of the century.

Don’t you be thinking you can get away with Obama and Hillary. This is not going to cut it.

3. Right now, it’s a big IF for Obama if win. In fact, many said that not only they won’t vote for Obama. They also said they will not sit this election out, they will vote for McCain. Yes, we are thaaat angry.

4. Obama would have time to learn the ropes and most likely will be the president after Hillary is done. Imagine Democrats in the White House at least three terms.

Trust me when I say that all the strategist in the world, all the advertising, PR, calls for unity, dirt digging or whatever, are not going to change a woman’s mind, period! So think about this solution very carefully. Would you rather lose? And then your candidate goes back home broken and to no support base because he gave his pastor, his church and friends up for this election. Or, would you rather win?

You may choose to ignore us. In this case, I call that you resign. All of you. Yes. Resign because you have failed to put up a cohesive plan and a fight for the party. You didn’t think that one through and you finagled the votes, the delegates and other things that haven’t come to light yet.

Also, the Party needs to change its cockamamie system of delegates, super delegate and super duper delegates. That creates a broken telephone message that what we say, is totally different from what you hear. Such as when we roared. But all you heard was a mere meow.

This is not Shakespeare’s Midsummer Night’s Dream. This is a nightmare. We will not roar “an ’twere any nightingale.” We would roar so that “the duke will say let him roar again and again.” (I hope you studied your Shakespeare in high school).

Though I write this with humor, I am dead serious. I have given you a good solution. Use it!

Filed under: Diaries